quinta-feira, 10 de março de 2011

Lembranças

  



Alessandro segurava nas mãos um pedaço de madeira de quase um metro de comprimento. Todos os seus músculos estavam retesados, concentrados naquele pedaço de pau. Seus olhos estavam fixos em mim... Se aquela porra me acertasse com a força que ele estava disposto a usar, e se eu não morresse, passaria o resto da vida ingerindo alimento por um canudinho e cagando por uma sonda no Hospital das Clínicas.

Apesar de ser menor que ele, eu o encarava fixamente. Segurava na mão direita um pequeno objeto que se o acertasse deixá-lo-ia temporariamente desnorteado... Tempo insuficiente para qualquer coisa... Sabia que minhas chances eram as piores possíveis. E ele também: seus olhos estavam fixos em cada movimento do meu corpo e eu procurava uma forma de fazer o mesmo em relação a ele.

Sua língua passou pelos lábios como um predador que saboreia a caça antes mesmo de pegá-la. O suor me escorreu pela nuca... fuga para o improvável?

O que mais era estranho perante a situação é que nem sempre fomos adversários. Muito pelo contrário tínhamos o costume de sair nos finais de semana, tomar umas cervejas, paquerar as menininhas da nossa idade nas baladas... Naquele momento era inevitável não lembrar que já estudáramos juntos. Se a mãe dele era chamada à comparecer na escola devido a algum problema de comportamento a minha também era convidada e vice-versa. Em outras palavras: toda merda que um aprontava o outro era cúmplice, até mesmo quando não era...

Havia umas quinze pessoas, fora nós dois, aquele dia. Estava quente e o calor cozinhava a situação. Algumas pessoas incitavam:

- Anda logo, caralho!!!

- Vai maricas!!!

Apesar de todos agitarem, nem eu nem ele estávamos com pressa. Muito menos eu... A situação era visivelmente desfavorável para mim. Nós nos conhecíamos bem: além de estudarmos juntos durante um bom tempo, também fizemos judô na mesma academia, no mesmo horário. Por isso, cada um sabia onde estava o ponto de pressão do outro. Mas o fato de ele ser uns quinze centímetros mais alto que eu lhe concedia certa vantagem. Muitas vezes eu estava para vencer e era imobilizado porque meus braços não alcançavam o ponto certo para domínio. Outras vezes era por falta de técnica mesmo. Só que naquele dia não estávamos de kimono e faixas, não havia tatame e nem juiz para separar caso a coisa engrossasse e fugisse do controle. Era só eu e ele. E um pedaço de madeira maciça.

Uma imagem me ocorreu naquele instante. Certa vez, houve uma briga na rua ninguém se lembra ao certo como foi que começou, mas de repente havia outros dois amigos se pegando para valer. Alessandro se meteu no meio dos dois e acabou por intermediar a situação. Sabe aquele cara que surge como o pacificador?, pois é, era ele. Colocou a mão no peito dos dois e disse:

- Hoje ninguém briga aqui.

E quando os dois acalmaram, do nada, rapidamente, ele se virou e começou a bater em um deles. Ninguém reagiu, tamanha fora a surpresa. O pessoal da rua nunca soube o motivo da escolha, mas eu sabia: ele escolhera o mais forte, apenas pelo prazer de subjugar. E o fez. Daquele dia em diante todo mundo ficava com o pé atrás quando se tratava de lidar com ele. Inclusive eu. Sempre que ele não estava presente nos referíamos a ele pela alcunha de "Oculto".

Pense num cão que você não conhece, acha na rua, fica com dó e pega para criar. Alimenta, dá banho, carinho, confia sua própria casa a ele e, quando você menos espera, ele morde você e arranca um pedaço da sua carne. Assim era Alessandro.

Todo mundo em volta queria ver o circo pegar fogo e eu ali naquela situação de merda.

- Vai logo, poorraaaa!!!

Para eles era fácil falarem, gritarem, incitarem... alias, sempre é. Mas eu queria ver eles no meu lugar, conhecendo o inimigo como eu conhecia. A maioria escolheria ficar do lado dele e não contra.

Ameacei um gesto. Seu corpo reagiu instintiva e corretamente proporcional a minha ação. Por alguma razão me veio a mente o sansei que nos ensinara judô. Ele vivia falando de um chinês que era estrategista militar:

- Vocês precisam aprender a medir a distância entre vocês e seu oponente. Estimar a quantidade, calcular ações, comparar possibilidade e enxergar a vitória.

Lembrar dele naquele momento me pareceu descabido, mas aquilo já havia impregnado nossos espíritos e se eu sabia, certamente ele  também sabia. Só que ele era a imagem e eu o reflexo.

Ele raspou a madeira no chão e eu segurei o objeto com mais força. Quanto tempo estávamos assim? Três minutos?

Suava tanto que a parte de trás da bermuda já estava encharcada. A minha cabeça parecia fazer pressão contra a tiara que segurava meus cabelos. Eu o olhei nos olhos e não vi nada além de mim mesmo estagnado, com medo de agir...

Dane-se!

Arremessei a bola de tênis em sua direção e... o desgraçado rebateu. A bola voou tão longe que mal consegui acompanhar com o giro da cabeça; corri feito louco para pegá-la e quando consegui ele e seu parceiro de time já tinham cruzado o campo vezes o suficiente para vencer a partida.

Cheguei perto dele arfando:

- Essa... foi... foda!!

- É... mais um pouco e ficaria com câimbras nas pernas!

Mais um pouco e eu desmaiaria, pensei.

Sentamos na calçada. Abrimos umas latas de cerveja e ficamos olhando a próxima equipe de amigos se enfrentarem no jogo de taco. Fizemos tudo que os outros fizeram quando estavam assistindo: incitamos, xingamos e incendiamos o circo só para ver até onde iria.

O mundo é bem melhor quando se tem dezessete anos.



Fevereiro de 2011


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